Got Your Back
by HermioneGirl96
Summary: Lardo comes out to Shitty as nonbinary. A one-shot.


**Disclaimer: The characters are Ngozi's.**

Lardo's been avoiding Shitty's Skype calls for a while now, but they don't really have a good excuse to not pick up when Shitty calls one Sunday afternoon about an hour after Lardo and the team have gotten back from a roadie, so Lardo hits the Answer Call button and lets Shitty's face fill their computer screen.

"Lardo, my dude!" Shitty practically shouts when the call connects. "Fucking finally! What's up, bro?"

Lardo swallows, their throat already constricting as if to prevent them from saying what they need to say. "I think we should break up," they manage.

Shitty recoils a little from his computer. "What?" Then he takes a deep breath. "If you don't want this, then we shouldn't be doing it, and I don't want to question your right to make decisions about your relationships. But, if I may ask, um, do you have a reason? Because if there's something that I'm doing that's bothering you and you're willing to give me a chance to change, I want to take that chance and work on it, you know?"

"You're straight," says Lardo.

Shitty's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "But you—_oh_." His face gentles, softening into something like concerned interest. "Are you coming out to me as trans?"

Lardo shrugs. "Nonbinary. I mean, I know I'm not a guy—and not just because of my body; it's just something I _know_. But I love being 'one of the guys' with the team and being called 'dude' and 'bro' and all that, and I've always really hated being called a woman, and for a long time I didn't understand why, and then recently something just . . . clicked."

"And you're sure—" Shitty starts, and then breaks off. "Never mind; of course you are, and that would have been a really fucking invalidating question."

"What was it?" Lardo asks.

Shitty makes a face. "I was gonna ask if you're sure you don't just hate being called a woman because of internalized sexism, but, like I said, that would have been really fucking invalidating, and of course you're sure."

Lardo mirrors Shitty's face. "You're right, that's a really fucking invalidating question, and I'm glad you didn't actually ask it."

Shitty nods. "Yeah. So, um, can I ask about your name and pronouns?"

Lardo lets out a breath, relaxing. There's a reason they fell for this guy. "I love being called Lardo. It feels a hell of a lot better than Larissa, but I'm probably going to keep going by Larissa in, like, more formal settings anyway, because I don't really have a better idea and I can't picture asking professors or coworkers to call me Lardo. And I really want to use they/them pronouns. Like, I stay up at night crying over the pronoun thing, because she/her just feels so gross at this point."

"Hey," says Shitty gently, "nobody deserves that. If you want they/them pronouns, that's what people should use for you, and I will personally fight anyone who says otherwise."

"I don't need you to fight people for me. I'm not some damsel in distress," Lardo retorts.

"Right, of course," says Shitty. "Sorry. I just—I want to have your back, you know?"

That's all Lardo can take. Their breath catches and then they're crying, sob after sob wracking their body.

"Did I say something wrong?" Shitty asks quietly.

"No," Lardo manages. "You're just—you're the absolute _best_, Shits, but you're attracted to women and I'm not a woman and I don't know how to _do_ this."

"Lards," says Shitty seriously. "If you don't want us to be together, then we shouldn't be together. But I take 'straight' to mean 'attracted to genders other than my own,' and you're not a man, so, like, I don't see an issue here. I want you to feel free to disagree with me on that and to break up with me if that's what you want to do, but I also want to make clear that I'm happy to have you as my partner regardless of whether that's a synonym for girlfriend, and that, like, seeing you as a woman isn't what made me fall for you. You're still the kickass person I fell in love with. Okay?"

Lardo cries harder, but they nod. "Th-thanks, Shitty. Can I think about it?"

"Yeah, of course," says Shitty. "Now, does anyone else know?"

Lardo shakes their head. "No, you're the first one I've told."

"Thank you for trusting me with this moment," says Shitty. "Do you want to tell the team?"

"Yeah. I really hope they'll be cool. I mean, I know they love Bitty, but it's not quite the same thing, you know?"

Shitty nods. "Yeah. But I really do think they'll be cool about it, and I've got your back if anyone isn't, and I'm positive that Rans and Holster and Bitty will, too, if anyone gives you grief about anything."

Lardo laughs. "What would Bitty do, ban whoever it is from eating any more pie?"

Shitty laughs, too. "Sounds about right. But Rans and Holster are good captains, and they mean business. They'd do anything for you."

"Yeah. I know. It's just—still kind of scary?"

"Oh, for sure," says Shitty. "I don't have personal experience in this area, but yeah, of course it is."

Lardo sniffles. "Thanks for this. You're really fucking great and I'm gonna think about it, okay?"

"Take as long as you need," says Shitty. "I'm always gonna have your back, no matter what you decide."

"Thanks," says Lardo. "I think I'm gonna go get cleaned up and then maybe talk to Ransom and Holster. I'm sorry we didn't get to talk about any of your stuff. We can Skype again soon, okay?"

"Okay," says Shitty. "Good luck. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," says Lardo, and then they hang up.


End file.
